A self-development expert has shared four subtle habits that might be making people dislike you.
Everyone wants to win the favour of the people around them. Whether it's your colleagues, friends or a potential romantic partner, we all would like to think of ourselves as likeable people.
However, it turns out there are a few simple changes you can make to the way you interact with people that will make those around you warm to you more. Taking to TikTok, Josh Fraser Young – whose psychology tips have earned him more than 600k followers on the platform – revealed four things that "extremely likeable" people do.
"If you can implement these into your daily life, you'll be seen as very charismatic and you'll win everyone's favour," he said. Here are the four behaviours you should avoid if you want to be seen as a likeable person.
Not using people's names
"[Likeable people] remember and use people's names during conversation. Doing this makes people feel valued and appreciated.
"A good tip is to try and use a person's name three times in the first five minutes after meeting them. This will make it easier to remember."
Psychologist Dr Lindsay Henderson, PsyD, backed up this theory. Speaking to Bustle, she said: "Because our names are such an indispensable part of our identity, we love it when people use them.
"We feel validated when a person refers to us by name during a conversation."
Talking more than you listen
"Number two: [likeable people] listen more than they speak," he continued. "Instead of just talking about themselves, they give their full attention to the other person.
"To master this, instead of focusing on trying to be interesting, focus on being interested."
One easy way to pull off this trick is by asking questions. A paper published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found people are more responsive to those who ask them about the other person, rather than those who talk about themselves.
However, many of us have not mastered this skill. "Most people spend the majority of their conversations sharing their own views rather than focusing on the other person," the paper read.
Trying to hide your flaws
"Number three: [likeable people] are open about their mistakes and flaws. They aren't afraid of being vulnerable and have no trouble laughing at themselves.
"Always remember: People don't judge your shortcomings, they judge how you perceive your shortcomings."
Life coach and clinical psychologist Jacqueline Julien said being open about your mistakes, rather than running from them, makes people see you as more vulnerable and relatable. She told Bustle: "This doesn’t mean always talk about the mistakes you made, but admit to troubles or mistakes from time to time. When you admit you aren’t perfect, people see you as more relatable and like you more."
Not being kind
"[Likeable people] are extremely kind," he added. "They lift others up and compliment people often.
"Get into the habit of being a kind and caring person who talks positively about others, and you'll be extremely likeable."