Sometimes I feel guilty that I haven’t posted anything on this site for a while. I think of the goals I set myself months ago that I am currently not hitting- whether it comes to frequency or quality of post. I occasionally think less of myself, not hitting the mark, not meeting the ‘quota’, or something like that. The feeling
doesn’t tend to last long though, for a few reasons really:
We all need a playground. A place to try things out. A place where you’re not having to sit behind a desk but instead can run around playing whatever game you want to play. A playground where games are played with little responsibilities, without limitations. Games where you’re not quite good enough to play professionally (otherwise you would be), but games that you enjoy nonetheless. We all need a playground where we can try ideas, and be refreshed. Some will work incredibly well and some will be utterly awful. And that’s OK. This site is my playground, so I’ll play and try things out like a frantic, distracted schoolboy playing ‘World Cup Doubles’ with his mates during lunchtime. New things. Old Things. A range of types, styles and genres. Who knows.
Life is full. Christ came so that we might have life in all it’s abundance, and when our lives are full and in their abundance other things that are less abundant don’t have a chance of happening. I don’t think I’ve watched as little TV as I do now. I’m not saying that TV is a terrible and ‘non-abundant’ thing, but other stuff that I personally find more ‘tank-filling’ for me is taking its place. Like playing weekly village cricket. (Yes I am that British). What am I trying to say? Maybe this blog has been something a little less-abundant in the last season I’ve been in since March this year. Maybe its a seasonal thing. When I say ‘Life Is Full’, I also mean it in the negative sense too. I can certainly say that since March I’ve had seasons where life has been too full, too much, not enough margin and I’ve felt the aches of that.
Experiencing ≠ Sharing. I have done stuff. Really cool stuff. Stuff I really want to remember for the rest of my life. Stuff that I’d love others to know about. But they don’t need to know about. Experiencing does not have to equal sharing. I can slip into thinking that all my thoughts, feelings, encounters, revelations and experiences need to be shared publicly. They don’t. Instead of publicising everything so much, I’ve spent energy privately writing in my journal. It’s great, I can write typos and get away with it. I can write stuff that only appears on God’s newsfeed. I can experience life without sharing it, (mostly)!
With all that in mind, hopefully I will write more on this site. But I can’t promise anything I’m afraid, hopefully you can understand the 3 reasons above, and give me grace accordingly. And out of interest, what is your playground?