Relationships: Grey Areas?

So. There are Black & White principles of relationships. There are Grey areas of relationships. Grey areas? Like what? I think there are loads of examples, here’s one:

You could say there are two GENERAL extremes of  thought about getting into a relationship:


Date as many people as you can (1 at a time preferably!) in order for you to figure out what you like in a girlfriend/boyfriend. Then eventually settle down with your favourite.


Don’t date anybody until you are ready to be married, and know 100% who that person will be.


Crikey! (yes, I used that word). They are extremes aren’t they?  Some of you are probably already annoyed at one of those examples. The Bible says that we are called to love each other as we love ourselves (Matt 22:39), and that we are to treat each other like brothers and sisters (1 Peter 3:8). So, picking up and then dumping girlfriends/boyfriends as often as we check our phones doesn’t fit with how we are called to treat each other! So Number 1 doesn’t strike me as a good idea.

Number 2 option is often considered unrealistic. Come on. Let’s be honest: How can we truly know that we will marry somebody before we even spend any time alone with them on a ‘date’ of some kind? People change for various reasons. Some people change when they are alone. Some people change when they are in a different setting. People change as they grow older. People even change as the year goes into the different seasons. To expect to be 100% sure that you will know who you will marry before dating just seems mainly unrealistic to me (although I’m sure you know of examples where this has happened before). But to have it as a ‘rule’ for dating is not fair. I think we’d be living in a world of indecisive, worried, anxious single people if we all followed that rule!

So where should we sit? To put it simply, somewhere between the 2 in my opinion. I’ll write more on this issue next time. And there’s tons more grey areas. Let’s remember, it is not all black and white, and we need to chat about the grey, think about the grey, pray about the grey, and not be scared of the grey.


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